Every day has a challenge. Is that true? I suppose that if it doesn’t have a challenge, maybe that means something, like not enough risk-taking or status-quo-questioning.
Today’s biggest challenge was standing up to someone. It feels bad to me. To put my desires before someone else’s. I think I have low self-esteem. (Fine, I know it.) So it’s hard for me to believe that my needs/desires/opinions are worth trumping those of others.
But I had to today. The decision was not hard. It was clear to me that to not stand up would be to lose hope of setting up boundaries.
I don’t really know how to cope with disappointing someone. I’m trying to sit with it. I’m trying to be upset and not do anything about it. Maybe I can develop a tolerance for unpleasant feelings and not need to run to unhealthy coping mechanisms RIGHT AWAY because the bad feelings are so unacceptable.
I met today’s challenge but it’s hard to feel like it’s a victory. So here’s an affirming statement. I might not fully believe it, but to state it is a start.
I, like anyone, can and should do right by myself. I know what is best for me and it’s put my interests before others, especially when the others are being manipulative.
By doing so, I am one stop closer to becoming who I want to be: a strong person who respects everyone, including myself.
Microquake 